Gratitude after a difficult 2020

The term “score” — meaning twenty — is rarely used these days. As a noun with multiple meanings, a score can refer to everything from the total number of points earned in a game, to drugs bought from a dealer, to a musical composition to a sexual conquest. For this article, however, the only score I wish to reference are the 20 things for which I am grateful this year. It has been a difficult 2020, but through it all, these people, places, and things have kept me going. For each of them I am exceptionally thankful. In no particular order, they include:

1) My wife Chantelle

My wife has been a pillar of strength throughout the year. For most of it, she has worked at home in an office we’ve set up on the top floor of our humble home. Her hours of toiling through Teams calls and taking on numerous challenges at work have been inspirational. She has kept us financially afloat and has balanced so many responsibilities with a sense of humour and poise that amaze me. Without a doubt, she remains a shoe-in for ‘Wife of the Year’!

2) Benjamin, my son

My son started at a new school in September; his fourth in the past four years. He has had to adapt to much change during this time, but through it all he has remained full of enthusiasm, great questions, and unending curiosity. His resilience, desire to learn, and endless playfulness instil immeasurable pride in me and remind me that the most important job in life is to be a loving parent.

3) My Dad

At the end of September, we lost my father rather suddenly. He was out for a ride and somehow ended up falling headfirst into the asphalt. No foul play was suspected and despite wearing a helmet, it did not protect him from falling into a coma from which he did not return. My father’s accident took us by surprise as very suddenly he was taken from us. A man full of life and vigour, he was fit and a physically active 88-year-old. He will remain an exemplar of the importance of regular exercise, embracing the beauty of nature, and living life to the fullest.

4) Neighbours

Having moved into a home we bought at the end of December 2019, we had to once again settle into a neighbourhood. We have been so fortunate to have the wonderful Derry family in the adjacent semi-detached house. Their youngest, Gabriel, and my son have become best friends and having each other to play with during the pandemic has been one of the most special blessings, and a beautiful thing to observe. They have become brothers to one another, and I have enjoyed the periodic end-of-day beers with David, his father.

5) Canada

“Peace, order and good government” are the central tenants of this country’s constitution. This was plainly evident during the pandemic, and I salute the men and women who have been trying to deal with a difficult situation, in particular our government. Under Prime Minister Trudeau, the government has responded admirably to the pandemic and reassured Canadians that they can depend on the government to see them through this crisis. For one, I am grateful for the safety net provided by unemployment insurance and the Canada Recovery Benefit (thanks to legislation that passed with the support of all political parties).

6) Proximity to Family
One of the reasons we moved from South Africa to Canada was to be closer to family. With my brother in Toronto and my mother in Ottawa, we have been lucky to enjoy lots of great meals together and quality time having out in both cities. I am so happy that I was able to be there for my mum when she most needed it and how we all came together to celebrate my father at his memorial in early November. It has been especially touching to observe the blossoming relationship between my wife and sister-in-law since they have been in the same city together.

7) Local Parks

We live close to High Park, one of Toronto’s great parks. Extending over 161 ha (400 acres), it is the city’s second largest municipal park and features wonderful paths for hiking and running, areas for dogs to run off-leash, playgrounds for children, ponds for fishing, and even a small zoo. The park was donated to the city in 1873 “for the free use, benefit and enjoyment of the citizens of Toronto for ever” and it remains the best place to witness cherry blossoms in the spring (access to which was limited during the COVID-19 pandemic). As often as possible I enjoy the park as an urban oasis to breathe in fresh air and commune with nature.

8) Optimum Talent

Having completed a one-year contract with the Mastercard Foundation at the end of March, my employer kindly provided access to the services of Optimum Talent, a talent management firm, to help transition to my next role. Apart from one-on-one consultations with a career counsellor, Lindsey Estenfelder, I was offered the opportunity to participate in a weekly networking group, headed by Debra Adey. These virtual meetings with others seeking employment provided tremendous support, learning, and connection when I felt quite isolated.

9) The Lewis Family

Jeff and Lauren lived on our street up until the middle of 2020, when they bought a house and moved to Hamilton. As a couple — and as journalists — they had lived and worked in Alberta prior to moving to Toronto. Their eldest Bennett, my son Ben, and our neighbour’s boy Gabriel were as thick as thieves and regularly ‘terrorized’ the neighbourhood as a three-person gang on scooters. Jeff and Lauren have become friends and we’ve gotten together with them a few times since they relocated, including a couple of wonderful times at their cottage.

10) Nic and Ann

Nic is an old friend and he and his wife Ann were instrumental in helping us settle in Toronto at the end of 2018. Their boy Theo, who is a few years younger than Ben, is an absolute delight. One-on-one time with Nic, cycling, and exploring some of the city’s ravines have been some highlights for me.

11) My Son’s Teachers

Ms K at King George Primary School and Mrs Tavares at St. Cecelia’s have been absolute stars in educating Ben and helping him feel settled. Consummate professionals and with warm, caring hearts, they have been vital to his adaptation to a new country and culture. Amid all the disruption and uncertainty of the pandemic, both of these women have been rock solid and reliable in their determination to make the school year work, with or without long-distance learning.

12) LinkedIn

An online social platform that is so much more than a job-hunting tool, I have become an avid user of LinkedIn. Apart from being a valuable outlet to provide my views on different work-related matters, I’ve also been able to learn from my connections and the various courses provided through LinkedIn learning. I look forward to seeing how the platform evolves in the coming years as a more integrated aspect of the Microsoft empire.

13) St. Paul’s Church

On November 7th we produced a memorial to my father — Dr. Sholto Fletcher Cole —who passed away rather suddenly about a month away from his 89th birthday. While it had a small in-person service at the church, the service was ostensibly put together to cater to an online audience (thanks to COVID-19 restrictions). Led by Minister Wilson and technically produced by Ed Smith from St Paul’s, we pulled it off without a major hitch. The service included kind words from Minister Jack Archibald (the recently retired from St. Paul’s), playing of the organ by Matthew Larkin and eulogies by my brother Doug (in Ottawa) and from Jack Richardson, a longtime friend of my father’s who is based in Boston. Beyond the ceremony, the broader congregation at the church — where my parents have been active members — were unbelievably supportive, especially my mum and dad’s bible study group of multiple decades.

14) Creekside Community

My parents have been in Creekside, a small neighbourhood near Bayshore Shopping Centre for over two decades. It is a special place with a caring group of neighbours and friends. When my father passed, I was touched by the kindness and care that was offered and how many of individuals from the neighbourhood popped in to pay their condolences. It is heartening to know that my mother is part of this community and that it will provide her with companionship during times when she may feel alone.

15) Podcasters

I have been a big fan of podcasts and over the past year I have come to appreciate the format even more. The shows I listen to regularly include Radiolab, Tim Ferriss, TED Radio Hour, Stuff You Should Know, Freakonomics, and Hidden Brain. This year I also ‘discovered’ Zig Zag, part of the TED network of shows. In one way or another, each of these podcasts provided comfort, support, and insight to help get through a difficult year.

16) Wildlife

We are lucky to live in a neighbourhood with a fair number of mature trees, including a few standing tall over our backyard. These ‘grandfathers of nature’ provide a home and refuge for many animals including red-tailed hawks, blue jays, cardinals, sparrows, chickadees, and various other birds. We’ve even spotted coyote, red fox and an opossum (North America’s only marsupial). Racoons and squirrels are also plentiful in our area, providing regular entertainment with their antics and bravado. Apart from observing their beautiful busyness, these animals served as reminders of the importance of nature and our dependency upon all that it provides our species.

17) Weekends away

During the course of 2020 we had the opportunity to explore quite a few towns near Toronto. There is so much to see in the vastness of Canada, and the province of Ontario provides a small taste of the country’s extensive cultural and geographic diversity. Some highlights from day trips and weekends away to locales as Cambridge, Elora, Prince Edward County, Tobermory/Bruce Peninsula, Manitoulin Island, 1000 Islands and Ottawa, include fantastic hiking, dining, and shopping at various farm stalls and ‘high streets’ in these towns.

18) ‘Old Skool’ Zooms

In the middle of the pandemic, I reconnected with several mates from my high school days thanks to the ubiquitous technological wonder called Zoom. These sessions provided the chance to laugh, rib one another, contemplate the realities of middle-age, and consider some of the challenges facing the world. Several of us grew impressive beards and the staggered removal of such facial growth — during the course of one Zoom call — provided tremendous amusement. Thank you Dean, Kevin, Mike and André for taking the time to connect.

19) Local Businesses

As much as possible, we’ve tried to support our local corner store, Garden Foods, a small shop run by a wonderful Korean-Canadian family. When he was allowed to open, I also visited my local barber, Alex, owner of The Baby Point Barbershop. Both of these businesses, and especially the latter, offer a level of personal service and friendliness that are unmatched by blue vest wearing greeters typically found at big box stores. I appreciate the entrepreneurship and tenacity of these individuals to survive a year that has been brutal on small businesses.

20) Health

I cannot look back on 2020 without appreciating the fact that I am in decent health. Without a gym to go to for most of the year, I have tried to maintain some semblance of fitness by going on occasional runs by myself and regular walks with my family. I am thankful that I have remained healthy as so many individuals, families, and businesses have been affected by COVID-19. My uncle Graham in South Africa had a particularly difficult time during the pandemic and I am so happy that he was able to pull through following two heart operations that had to be done following complications resulting from contracting the virus.